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Move Softly On Thin Ice

by endlessly

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1.
Shaking 03:45
I felt this time was doing better On the road to recovery But I opened my eyes to the stranger's face This wasn't how it was supposed to be (oh oh) you're shaking you're shaking it off (oh oh) the news they're breaking to you (oh oh) you're shaken, you're shaken up oh oh And where do I go? What will you do for me? I can't pretend to comprehend through the morphine haze The dead give away. Who is this stranger at my bed? (oh oh) you're shaking you're shaking it off (oh oh) the news they're breaking to you (oh oh) you're shaken, you're shaken up oh oh Should have never found out this way. Then the stranger says it will be okay. (oh oh) you're shaking you're shaking it off (oh oh) the news they're breaking to you (oh oh) you're shaken, you're shaken up oh oh
2.
This Body 04:24
Don't know how to feel sure of my body. I've never been quite so betrayed. With the stigma attached I feel a real disconnect Between what's normal and what is insane. And I hate this body. It's unpredictability. Move softly on thin ice cause the next step it might kill me. Now what can you see in the pictures? Is there evidence of a new disease? Should I be holding my breath? Prepare for worst or for best? Where to channel my anxieties. And I hate this body. It's multi complexities. I crashed right through the thin ice waiting for metastasis. All bottled and boiled, volcanic eruptions The fear of my own death from which I live under But the sun it will rise it will clear my head Wipe the crust from my eyes cause I'm still breathing It's a fragile existence for everyone Cause one day you might be here then the next second you're gone
3.
Regret 04:59
I'm so sorry, don't wanna drag you down But I'm so worried and I'm glad that you're around Prove you love me, now you have your chance But I often wonder if that's too much to ask. Will you regret being with me when I suck your life dry with my disease? Hold me upright cause I'm too weak to stand I'm trying so hard, be patient understand But that look on your face, dear I apologize I'm yours forever and I owe you my life But did you regret being with me when I sucked your life dry with my disease?
4.
I wish you were around so I could thank you For figuring it out How to go on when you're down I wish you were around I see you in her eyes The funny things you said all echo in her smile I wish you were around so I could show you How your strength would pull me up When I was feeling down I wish you were around But there's no turning back Forget about yesterday It will swallow you whole it will eat you up If you let it get its way Still I couldn't hold you up I could not take away your pain And it really fucked you up Will you please forgive me I wish you were around I wish you were around I wish you were around to see the day
5.
How can you dance? You look so goddamn foolish How can you dance? When all your dreams are lies, lies, lies How can you smile when they steal your soul Right out from under your eyes. Right in front of your eyes How can you dance? When they riddle your body with bullets They'll let you dance but they won't let you survive So how can you smile? When they murder your spirit right in front of your eyes Right in front of your eyes. Why aren't you crying and why are you screaming? For once in your life can't you act like a human being? So how can you dance? Is there nothing left to stop you? They cut off your arms, cut off your feet But you're still reaching for the sky How can you smile? When they mutilate your lips and stab out your eyes
6.
Great Escape 04:49
I cut my hair and dyed it a shade of blue I inked my arm forever with the memory of you The matching rings displayed on our tiny hands The kind of bond that no one will comprehend Who will mind? Who will care? Look no further and I'll be there When it's coming down on you like a boulder Beneath the waves and through the burning flames When you're caught in the downward spiral at the moment Please let me be Your great escape Will you hold your breath when waiting for the news? The anxious ghost is always inside of you In the darkest space, you're never going to make it back From behind your walls and wearing that happy mask Who will mind? Who will care? Look no further and I'll be there When it's coming down on you like a boulder Beneath the waves and through the burning flames When you're caught in the downward spiral at the moment Please let me be Your great escape Your great escape Your great escape Won't you let me be the one to take the pain away Your great escape Your great escape Won't you let me take the pain, and take it all away When it's coming down on you like a boulder Beneath the waves and through the burning flames When you're caught in the downward spiral at the moment Please let me be Your great escape
7.
Sometimes I live But sometimes I break down When it's heavy And the world falls on me

about

This record is a collection of the struggles I endured trying to return to a normal life after a year long battle with cancer. I hope it helps someone else survive.

Special thanks to Jim Anderson, Sarah Pulver, Chris Chako, Ashley Vogel, Cindy Stockton Moore and Jennifer Velez who have served as my crutches for the last five years. I love you.

This record is dedicated to the memory of my dear friend Karl Hendricks.

credits

released April 26, 2019

All songs written by Rachel Wetzel
except track 5 (Written by Karl Hendricks)

Recorded & mixed at Devils Den Recording by Devin Carr
Mastered at Gradwell House by Dave Downham

Rachel Wetzel- guitars and vocals
Jesse Trbovich- bass
Devin Carr- drums
Kristine Eng- keys and backing vocals
John Pettit - backing vocals

Artwork by Rachel Wetzel

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about

endlessly Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

In 2014, I was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I was young & healthy at the time. This record is a reflection of the feelings I've bottled up, the challenges I've endured, the hurdles I've overcome but mostly it's about death- a subject I've come all too familiar with. I hope it helps another survivor feel normal. I hope you gain a deeper understanding of living life with disease. XO RW ... more

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